Father’s Day for Alec

I decided Father’s Day would be a good time to post something for my Single Dads of Gaynor Beach book – Alec.

This short story will make the most sense if you’ve read the novel. Content warning for grief due to child loss, although it takes place about a year after the novel – that’s not a pain that goes away, but it can be cushioned by love. I hope you enjoy a little time with Alec, Joe, Kevin, and of course, Zelda.

(I also added the Kevin-in-high-school story from my FB Group to the bottom of this post.)

Happy Father’s Day, everyone.

In Every Way – an “Alec” short story

“Dad?”

Joe looked up from his screen. “Yeah?” He could take a break from his book to talk to Kevin. Maybe his subconscious would figure out a good idea for the vulnerable Achilles heel of a rhinoceros-shifter. Poachers, sure, but he didn’t want to go that dark. Maybe they could be afraid of mice? Like the old myth about elephants? Maybe the rhinos invented the myth, so they could say “Oh, no, that’s the elephants” if someone came close to the truth—

“Dad!”

“Sorry.” He swiveled his chair so he wouldn’t dive back in, and focused on his son. “What’s up?”

Kevin wore a serious expression. “Sunday’s Father’s Day.”

“Are you supposed to tell me that? Like, isn’t it some kind of secret?”

“Huh?”

“You know. ‘Surprise, Pops, here’s the awesome thing I got you for Father’s Day’ kind of secret?”

“Dad, the ads have been in the stores for, like, a month. Everyone knows. Anyway, that’s not what I meant.” The worried look wrinkling up Kevin’s snub nose hadn’t changed at Joe’s teasing.

“Sorry. What?”

“What do I do for Alec?”

“Oh.” That dropped like a lead balloon into Joe’s stomach. The first Father’s Day after he met Alec, they’d still been feeling each other out, taking tentative steps into a relationship. Alec had disappeared for the day, while Joe celebrated with Kevin. They’d all avoided the topic afterward, and pretended that it’d been just another Sunday.

Joe was sorry now he hadn’t been there for Alec, his first Father’s Day after losing his son. With all the fatherly hype everywhere you looked, when Nathan was gone, the holiday had to have been agonizing. But maybe Alec couldn’t have let anyone get close to his pain back then, not even Joe. I should’ve tried.

This year though… “Yeah, good question.”

“He’s my other dad, and I want to do something for him, but I don’t want him to feel bad, like I’m trying to replace Nathan.”

“He’d never think that. You’re his son too.” And thank God for second parent adoption. If anything happens to me, I trust Alec with you.

Kevin scuffed the floor with the toe of one sneaker. “I thought maybe we could take a walk to see the otters, just like we did that first time, and I could give him a card with otter things on it, but it’s supposed to be really hot. Like, killer hot, on Sunday. I don’t want to give him heat stroke for Father’s Day.”

Joe didn’t crack a smile, although it was a close thing. “Less exertion sounds smart.”

“Maybe he wants us to not say anything, though.”

Maybe I should talk to him about it. Joe stifled a sigh, because he wasn’t great at uncomfortable conversations. But talking was what they did, he and Alec. Defusing landmines before they blew up in their relationship. I’m supposed to be good with words. “I’ll ask him. Speaking of Father’s Day, don’t forget Marty.”

Kevin grimaced. “He’s not really a dad.”

“He’s married to your mother. That makes him a stepdad.”

“I guess. I can make him a card online and email it to him.”

“Good plan.” Joe felt a swell of love and pride. He’s such a good kid.

“I’ll even put a sea star on it, and tell him he’s a star of a stepdad. But I won’t put any interesting facts, because he doesn’t care about those.”

“His loss.”

Kevin grinned. “I have lots of facts in your— oops.”

Joe put his fingers in his ears. “I heard nothing.”

“You’re such a dork, Dad. But you will ask Alec? Right? Because I have an idea.”

“I promise. I’ll ask.”

As Kevin clattered off down the hall. Zelda jumped up from where she’d been lying under Joe’s desk and hurried after him, her nails scrabbling on the hardwood. Time to trim those claws again. Luckily the big dog was good about nail clipping.

Joe called, “Let Zelda out before you go!”

Kevin yelled back, “I’ll take her with me,” followed by the sound of the front door.

Joe turned back to his manuscript. So, mice. How does one deploy mice tactically…?

It wasn’t until he and Alec were getting ready for bed that night that he remembered his promise.

Crap, I hate to break the mood. Alec was half-hard, and stripping off his clothes more slowly and deliberately than usual, which meant good things. But a promise was a promise, and putting something off to morning with all its distractions was always a bad idea. And if he needs me to hold him, I’m here and we have time and privacy.

He started slowly, though. “You seem cheerful.”

Alec grinned. “I finally figured out the bug in that consulting project. Found the sucker in some third-party software I was using and smashed it flat. I think I can deliver on time now.”

“Yay!” Alec had been doing programming for a dyslexia reading-assist app, and some bug that Joe couldn’t understand, let alone help with, had made Alec grumpy for days. “I hope they appreciate all your hard work.”

“Heh. I wish.”

“Are you billing them for your time?”

“Some of it.” Alec looked sheepish. “It’s a worthwhile project, even if it is corporate. I don’t want them to decide it’s too expensive.”

Joe went and wrapped his arms around Alec’s boxer-clad lean body from behind, rubbing his cheek against Alec’s hair. “You’re a good man.”

“Well, I don’t really need big bucks from them. I have plenty from selling my company shares.”

“Hey, Kevin may want his own submarine someday. Kids are expensive.”

Alec chuckled, then sobered. “Yeah. I guess.”

Joe felt the way Alec stiffened and pulled away a fraction, a reliable tell that he was thinking about Nathan. Maybe realizing anew that he’d never having to pay for anything for his own son, ever again. That a funeral had been Nathan’s last expense.

Seize the moment. Joe pulled Alec back against him, trying to make his arms and body a wall between Alec and the world, as he said, “Speaking of kids, Kevin wants to know what you’d like us to do for Father’s Day.”

“Oh.” Alec went from tense to rigid. “Yeah.”

Joe kept talking softly beside Alec’s cheek. “If you want to pretend it’s not happening, we can do that. Kevin said so himself. We could do a twelve-hour movie marathon with no fathers in any of them, and binge the day away. Or if you want him and me to give you space, we can, although I’d rather be with you.”

Alec whispered, “I don’t know.”

“Kevin suggested another hike to see the otters, but given that it’s supposed to hit a hundred out there with this heatwave, he did balk at the idea of giving you heatstroke as a present.”

“Smart kid.” Alec managed a watery chuckle.

“He gets it from me, not you.” Joe jumped at Alec’s elbow digging into his ribs. “Hey, only the truth.” He squeezed Alec, who softened, leaning back against him. That’s better. “He has some kind of plan, but he doesn’t want to make you sad, or think he’s trying to supplant Nathan.”

“Kevin would never do that. Tell him not to worry.” Alec turned in Joe’s arms. “If he has a plan, I say let him run with it. Just warn him…” Alec’s faded-denim-blue eyes met Joe’s steadily, despite their damp sheen. “I can’t promise I’ll be cheerful. I can’t promise enthusiasm. It won’t be because I don’t love him like he’s my own, or because I don’t like his gift. Just… I’ll always miss Nathan, and I know I’m going to be thinking about how he should be there too, meeting Kevin and getting the big brother he always wanted—”

“I’ll tell him,” Joe promised. “He knows.”

They rocked together for a while, sharing the warmth of their embrace in the air-conditioned cool of the bedroom. Eventually, Alec murmured, “Have I ever said thank you for sharing your son with me?”

“A few times.” Joe kissed him. Alec’s dick pressed soft and flaccid against Joe’s thigh now, but Joe thought maybe he could divert both of them, if Alec was interested. He slid his hands down inside the waistband of Alec’s boxers to cup his ass. “So. There’s a comfy bed. A nice long hallway between us and Kevin’s room.” The new house has its benefits. “A fresh bottle of lube in the drawer. Shall we take advantage now, or in the morning?”

“Mm.” Alec kissed him back, wetter and hotter, though his dick hadn’t stirred. “Let’s experiment and find out. Distract me.”

“Ooh, yeah, I have some ideas.” Joe lowered himself to the rug, his lips brushing Alec’s nipple and the lightly furred treasure trail that led downward along the way. On his knees, he pressed his face to Alec’s stomach, rubbing with his stubbled jaw, licking and nipping. Alec’s dick stirred, beginning to tent his boxers by Joe’s cheek. Joe pressed his open lips there. “Looks like my ideas are working.”

“A good start. Keep trying.”

He set himself to distract them both so thoroughly they wouldn’t know their own names, let alone what next Sunday was.

***

Alec woke with a sense of dread in the pit of his stomach. He rolled up quickly on his elbow, but Joe sprawled out sleeping peacefully beside him, the sheet tangled around his thick thighs, baring a glimpse of his furry abs. Usually, Alec would’ve been all over that, but this morning, the knot of unease inside him blocked his interest.

A nightmare? That would be nothing new, but the feeling wasn’t fading with reality and the dawn light. Alec eased out of bed, careful not to disturb Joe, and padded barefoot to the kitchen.

Zelda got up from the tile floor under the table where she liked to lie in the hottest weather and came over to him. He rubbed her ears, the pointed one and the missing-tip one, and nodded at the corner of the living room. “We bought you an expensive cooling mat. We put it on your nice soft dog bed. Why don’t you sleep there?”

She just huffed and leaned against his legs, curling her body to ask for a butt-scritching.

He bent to oblige her. “You lay down on it once.” Kevin had taken a picture, full of unjustified optimism. “Didn’t it feel nice?”

When he stopped digging his fingers into her thick coat, she went to the patio doors and whined softly.

Alec turned off the alarm and slid the door open. A waft of hot, dry air entered as Zelda trotted out. “Enjoy your time outside, baby,” Alec called softly. “I can tell it’s gonna be a scorcher. No long walkies today…” Memory hit. No long walks to see the otters. Father’s Day.

Pain sharp as a knife jabbed his side and he clutched the door frame and closed his eyes. Nathan. You were supposed to be here. You’d be almost ten, getting tall. You’d love Kevin. You always wanted a brother. He’d probably convince you to make me a card with an octopus on it… His breath caught, strangling him.

No way but through the pain. No choice but to feel what he felt, and try to keep air in his chest— A damp touch on his hand made him jump. He choked on a breath and looked down. Zelda peered up at him, her wide forehead wrinkled, her furry tail wagging in tiny sweeps. She whined under her breath.

“It’s okay.” Alec sat heavily on the floor and pulled her bulky body against him. “You’re a good girl. Such a good girl.” With his face buried in her fur, he could almost breathe. The warm dog scent of her and the comfort of the way she pressed against him kept his tears at bay.

She nudged him with her nose, trying to lick his face.

He kissed her head. “You’ve come such a long way, baby, since that first time we met, with me so broken and you so scared. Well, so have I.” He sucked in air, counting, slowing each repeat until the iron band around his chest loosened.

A long way was the truth. He’d never not miss Nathan. maybe he’d always have moments like this when that loss cut so deep he couldn’t stay on his feet. But he’d started rebuilding his life and he wasn’t facing the pain alone now. “You and Joe and Kevin. My miracles.”

A thump behind him made him crank a look over his shoulder. Kevin stood in the kitchen in summer pajamas, his eyes bleary, one hand on the refrigerator door. He ran his other hand over his short-cropped hair. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“No, you’re fine. I’m always happy to see you.” Alec got to his feet and shooed Zelda outside. “Go sniff around before it gets too hot.” Zelda looked from Kevin in the kitchen to the open door, clearly weighing the chances for food versus interesting critter-smells, then trotted off into the backyard. Alec slid the door closed to keep the cool air in. “What are you doing up so early, Kev?” Kevin was perfectly capable of getting up at ridiculous-o’clock for something he wanted to do, but he was developing the almost-teen fondness for sleeping in otherwise.

“I was going to make you and Dad breakfast in bed. For…” Kevin’s voice trailed off.

“For Father’s Day.” Alec managed a level tone. “It’s okay. You can talk about it, say whatever. Sometimes I’ll be sad, and I know you understand that, but I also can’t wait for my first real Father’s Day as your dad.” He blinked, realizing how true that was.

Kevin suddenly rushed over and hugged him. “I’m so glad we got to do the adoption thing. You’re the best second dad ever.”

And now you have some added safety from your mom ever dragging you back to Ohio. There’d been more than one reason they’d pushed the second-parent adoption through. Of course, the biggest one was the amazing young man hugging the breath out of him, and how much Alec was proud to be part of his life. “And you’re the best older kid ever.” If Nathan was still here, you’d be the best brother. I love you both, so much. He cleared his clogged throat.

Kevin sniffed, then pulled away. “Enough mushy stuff. What do you think I should make Dad for breakfast? It’s a bit hot for bacon and eggs.”

“Waffles?”

“I haven’t used the waffle maker. That’s kind of Dad’s thing.”

“Let’s keep it your Dad’s specialty then. How about pancakes?”

“Yum. Yeah.”

Beating eggs and mixing batter and cutting up fruit let Alec stay busy enough to keep steady. Kevin kept up a low-key chatter about exotic fruit like durian and dragonfruit and Buddha’s hand, and jabuticaba, which Alec had never heard of.

“I think durian pancakes may be an acquired taste,” he suggested, opening the door to let Zelda back inside.

Kevin chortled. “Outdoors, and downwind. But some people love it, I guess.” He laid a heap of sliced strawberries on each plated stack of pancakes and added syrup. “I wish we had whipped cream.”

“Next year.”

Kevin grinned at him, and Alec realized that yeah, there would be next year, and the year after that, with this son of his heart. If nothing happens to Kevin. If he survives. Nathan didn’t. He tried to hide his clutch of panic. Lightning wouldn’t strike twice. That wouldn’t be fair. But life wasn’t fair. If it was fair, he wouldn’t have that image in his head from a video, of a white truck hood aiming at a car’s door— “Stop.” Stop, stop, stop. He squeezed his eyes shut.

“Stop what?’ Kevin’s smile faded.

“Nothing. Sorry.” Alec plastered a smile on his face. “My brain going off the track. Do we have a tray to carry this stuff? I don’t remember.”

“Yeah. Dad used it when I had the flu.” Kevin dug into a bottom cabinet and pulled one out. Together, they balanced plates, juice, and coffee precariously.

“Maybe I’ll carry the coffee mugs,” Alec suggested.

“Good idea. Dad’s grumpy in the mornings if he doesn’t get his coffee.”

With Kevin leading the way, and Zelda managing not to trip them up as she followed, her nose to Alec’s knee, they made their way to the master suite. Alec suspected Joe had woken up at the noise of the mixer and all. He sat up as they entered with a convincing yawn and stretch, to reveal sleep pants over those muscular thighs that he definitely hadn’t worn the night before. Alec grinned. Joe’s eyelid drooped in a subtle wink, but he said, “Wow. Pancakes. A great surprise. Thanks, Kev.”

“Alec helped. He was up early.”

Joe gave Alec a worried look. Nope, no pity today. Alec took his plate off the tray and slid onto his side of the bed. “I was hungry and Zelda needed to go out.” He took a big bite. “Mm. Cooked just right, Kev.”

Kevin set Joe’s plate next to the vital coffee Alec had placed on the nightstand. He handed Joe a card. “Happy Father’s Day.”

Joe opened the envelope to reveal a card with an octopus waving eight “Great Dad” banners in its arms. “Wow, it’s like they designed this one with you in mind.”

“I made it.” Kevin grinned as Joe read the inside, then reeled him in for a one–armed hug. “Glad you like it.”

Boosting himself up on the dresser, the kid dug into his own food. “I like making pancakes. Next time, I want chocolate sauce and whipped cream. But I figured fathers would like strawberries.”

Zelda sat in front of Kevin, her tail thumping on the floor.

Joe said, “No begging at the table, Zellie.”

Kevin said, “But there’s no table. So she’s allowed.” He tore off a bite of plain pancake and dropped it. Zelda snapped the treat out of midair and licked her lips.

Joe sighed loudly. “What have we said about loopholes, Kevin?”

Kevin licked strawberry juice off his lips. “Exploit them whenever you can?”

“Smart boy,” Alec put in to tweak Joe.

“Ganged up on in my own room.” Joe stuffed a big bite into his mouth. “On the other hand, this makes up for a lot of sins. Yum.”

When they were done eating, Alec stacked the plates on the tray. “I’ll do the cleanup.”

Kevin took the tray from him firmly. “No. It’s Father’s Day. Dads don’t do chores today.”

Joe said quietly, “Kevin?” with a nod to Alec.

“Alec told me it’s okay. I can be all Father’s Dayish if I want.” Kevin hesitated in the doorway, though, eyes down, chewing his lower lip. “But I made this present for you, Alec, and I don’t know if you’ll like it. I’m kind of nervous.”

Alec’s heart squeezed. “Whatever it is, I’m sure I’ll love it. Even if it’s an octopus hood ornament for my car or…” Kevin’s nerves didn’t seem to be responding to humor. “Or anything. Having you give me something that says you’re glad I’m your dad? That’s what counts.”

“Okay. Could you both maybe wait, like, half an hour and then come down to the family room? You can bring your coffee.”

“Sure. We can do that.” When Kevin had gone out, trailed by a hopeful Zelda, and water began running in the kitchen, Alec asked Joe, “Any ideas?”

“Not a one. With Kevin, the possibilities are pretty wide open.”

Alec kissed his big sweet man. “I have some ideas how we could use that half hour.” Although he was mostly teasing. They kept the most interesting bits covered when Kevin was up and about.

“Taking showers, right?”

Alec sniffed his own armpit. “Yeah. Absolutely. Exactly what I was thinking.”

The new master bathroom had a shower big enough for some fun, but Alec let Joe go alone, then took his turn. His stomach was churning, and he wasn’t sure a full plate of pancakes had been a good idea. His emotions were all over the place this morning. He pulled on light shorts and a sleeveless T-shirt, and when the half hour struck, he followed Joe to refill their mugs with the elixir of life, then down to the family room.

Located halfway below ground, that was often the coolest space in the house. Kevin had the curtains drawn over the high windows, and the dim room felt like a sanctuary. Joe obeyed Kevin’s gesture to sit on the couch in front of the big screen, setting his coffee on the side table. Alec sat beside him. Zelda came and flopped on top of their feet, keeping in touch as she loved to do.

Kevin stood up beside his open laptop, which was plugged into the big screen. He cleared his throat. “Just over a year ago,” he began, in a lecturing voice, “a man and a boy lived together on the edge of the ocean, in a really pretty new town called Gaynor Beach.” A picture appeared on the screen, a selfie of Joe and Kevin in front of the “Welcome to Gaynor Beach” sign.

“They were happy to have found a welcoming place to live, but they were just two guys alone.” The images that followed were a sequence of single wildlife against a broad expanse of land, sea, or sky. It ended with a very familiar photo of an albatross, wheeling high in an empty heavens.

“Hey, Mister. Did you see that albatross soaring? I’ve got a picture. Want to see…?” The first thing Kevin had said to him that had woken him out of his spiral of loss. The beginning of everything.

Joe took Alec’s hand and squeezed his fingers.

Kevin said, “And then they met another lonely man, and magic happened.” Amateur special effects took a photo of the three of them and made fireworks and a sunny glow appear. “And Zelda helped.” A photo of the dog, wagging her tail so fast it was a blur.

The images paused. Kevin took a visible breath. “And now we’re a family and Alec is my dad, and we’ll share stuff, going forward. But there’s a lot of past stuff that Dad and I share, that Alec doesn’t.” Kevin caught Alec’s gaze. “For Father’s Day, I want to share some of that with you. So you know all the bits of me, like Dad does. So I made this for you.” His voice caught on the last word. He bent and touched his screen.

The slide show started up again. A photo of a baby wrapped in a pink blanket, face mottled red and scrunched up, appeared. A caption said, “One day, a little baby boy was born.”

Then a photo of that baby a few months older, wispy hair pulled up in a barrette, sitting on a rug and grinning toothlessly. “He was very quick to learn to sit and stand, and to talk.”

Alec couldn’t help a snort of laughter, and Kevin threw him a look that seemed pleased and relieved.

“He had a lot of curiosity.” The photo showed the baby in a pleated dress, bending over with his head stuck inside a wastepaper basket.

It was Joe’s turn to laugh, but his grip on Alec’s had tightened almost to the point of pain.

Alec realized what he was being given. Here were glimpses of the past that Kevin had banished from the photo albums Joe kept on his phone and laptop. Those all started around age six, with a cute first-grade Kevin in jeans and T-shirts, often scowling at the camera. His hair was short, his colors blue and red primaries, and his small jaw sometimes jutted stubbornly.

Here was a younger Kevin, struggling to make himself heard, sometimes decked in hair ribbons and skirts, diving into life. A photo of Kevin pushing his toy lawnmower on a patch of smooth grass with his shirt off and skirt tucked into his underwear, age maybe three, was a portrait of both glee and defiance.

The pictures from age three to six were mostly uncaptioned. Kevin let them scroll by silently. Then the first picture of Kevin with his hair buzzed to boy-length appeared. The grin on his face spread ear to ear. The caption said, “He cut his hair.”

More photos followed, Kevin learning to skateboard, Kevin and Joe in a playground somewhere with Kevin upside down on a tall climber and Joe hovering. More photos began to have captions, things like “He liked feeding the squirrels” or, on one with a cast on one arm, “He fell off a cliff, but it was a small one.”

Alec looked at Joe, whose eyes were glued to the screen. “Really?”

Joe coughed. “Yeah. One of the scariest moments of my life. Was just seven feet down though.”

“There was a bird nesting in a hole in the rocks,” Kevin said. “I thought I could spot it.”

“Helmets,” Alec murmured. “Cotton wool. Bubble wrap.”

Kevin laughed and moved on to the next picture. Alec breathed in Joe’s ear, “He thinks I’m kidding.”

Joe let go of his hand and put his arm around Alec, hugging him close.

The slide show went on, giving Alec hidden moments of Kevin’s life. A hundred little things that had gone into the making of the boy he loved. Smiles, wide eyes, gritted teeth. Triumphs and failures. A broken skateboard and a trophy, a blurry photo of a deer and a clear one of a fox.

The photos finally circled back to eleven-year-old Kevin and “Welcome to Gaynor Beach,” then took one more jump. A picture of the three of them after the adoption hearing, grinning like fools, Kevin with the precious paperwork clutched to his chest and Alec and Joe with their hands on their boy’s shoulders. The caption said, “And then he had two dads, forever and ever, and they both know exactly who he is. Happy Fathers’ Day.”

The screen went dark. Kevin turned to Alec. “Did you like it?”

Did I like you giving me all your vulnerability, all the past you fought to shed, so I’d know you better? Jesus, kid. Alec held out his arms. “C’mere son.”

Kevin leaped toward him, tripped, and landed half in Alec’s lap. Alec hugged him fiercely, feeling Joe’s arms warm around them both. “That was awesome, Kevin, thank you. You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to. You weren’t there when I was a baby, but you’re still a dad to all of me. Even then, like, the universe didn’t know it yet, but you were my dad.”

Alec couldn’t untangle that metaphysics, and didn’t care. He squeezed the skinny livewire of his son against his chest. “You’re a wonderful son. I’m proud to be your dad.”

Kevin sniffled, then pulled free. “So that’s your present.”

“Where did you get those early pictures from?” Joe asked in a soft voice. “You told me to delete them and I did.”

“Mom still had them.” Kevin shrugged. “She was happy when I asked for some.”

“Are you mad she had them?”

“Nah. I never told her to delete hers. I knew she wouldn’t, she’d just hide them away, so it was better not to ask.”

Joe frowned. “I’m sorry—”

“It’s okay, Dad. Really. She’s her and you’re you, and now I’m older, I don’t really mind so much.” Kevin patted Joe’s arm. Alec noted how mature he looked, somehow years older than the kid he’d mistaken for Nathan’s ghost on that broken pier. Kevin went to his laptop and pulled out a thumb drive. He brought it over to Joe. “You can keep those, if you really want. I don’t want to see them again, but you can.”

“You don’t want a copy? You did a great job with it.”

Kevin shook his head hard.

Joe set a big hand on his son’s shoulder. For a long moment, they peered into each other’s eyes. Alec was stuck again by how alike they were. The two guys I love, in all the world.

Then Joe took the thumb drive and dropped it into his still-full mug. “I won’t forget a moment of your past, kiddo. I don’t need pictures, and Alec’s seen them now. I have all the recent stuff backed up sixteen times. Onward and upward.”

Kevin’s grin was big enough to encompass the universe. “Thanks, Dad.” He pivoted and hurried to his laptop. “And now, you said we could do a movie marathon. All science movies, with no mushy stuff in them. I found several. Let’s start with The Secret Lives of Plankton.” He messed around until a new image filled the big screen, a sunlit underwater view full of floating…stuff.

Kevin came back to the couch and wriggled his way in between Alec and Joe, who parted to let him in. Waving at the screen, Kevin said, “Wait till you see how cool plankton are. They play a vital role in absorbing carbon dioxide and producing oxygen in the oceans, and all the shapes are so freaking incredible.”

Joe met Alec’s eyes over their son’s head, Joe’s rueful look acknowledging that there might be more interesting ways to spend a lazy Sunday morning. He said, “Kevin, did you ask Alec about this plan?”

“No.” Kevin twisted his neck to look up at Alec. “You do want to see this, right?”

Alec looked down at the boy who’d rescued his broken soul, and over at the man who’d helped heal his heart. It hurt like a knife-wound, that Nathan wasn’t there, sitting in his lap and asking about plankton. That pain would never go away. But neither would the love he felt, here with these two on a quiet Father’s Day morning. “Yes, Kev,” he told his older son truthfully. “There’s nothing in the world I’d rather do.”

#####

And several years later, Kevin’s in high school, finding a place for himself in his own way…

Factual Attraction

I’ve been trying to ask Jeff Borenstein on a date for weeks. And chickening out every time. The first time went like this…

Wait till Jeff has his books together and stands up from his desk. Which he does a bit slowly because these highschool seats aren’t made for a guy who’s two hundred and twenty pounds of gorgeous muscle.

Stand up myself, not too fast, timing it just right so I’m behind him in the rush to get out of the classroom. Not ever a hardship, because he plays football and all that workout means his is one of the finest asses in those tight uniform pants that are the best part of the sport. (I mean, I enjoy football. I’m not one of those guys who can’t tell a place kicker from a third down, but the pants are *chef’s kiss*.)

Anyway, follow that cute ass, I mean Jeff, to the classroom door and out into the hall, then drop a notebook at his feet. Because Jeff’s one of the good guys. Some of his teammates would punt the notebook down the hallway and pretend it was an accident, to watch me scurry for my stuff. But Jeff’s not like that.

So the stage-managing part all worked. Jeff picked the notebook up, turned, and handed it to me, looking me in the eye which a lot of school royalty don’t. And I said… not “Hey, you wanna go get shakes at McDonald’s after class, now you’re liberated from practices?” He doesn’t play any spring sports, so that seemed like a good opening. Except what came out of my mouth was “Did you know octopuses have three hearts, but after they mate, they die? I guess you could call octopus love really heartbreaking.”

I stood there, mouth open in horror at myself.

Jeff said, “Uh, no. That’s cool. In a sad way.” Then he said, “See you later.” And strode off down the hall.

I flunked my math quiz next period, and since homeschooling and Papa Alec’s tutoring have put me way ahead of the curve, that’s shameful. Not that it did much damage to my average, but just on principle. Mr. Foster asked if I was feeling all right. Can you die of humiliation? Research says no.

Part of the problem is that science facts, like octopus senescence, have been my go-to for years, whenever I was stressed or excited. But what’s cute when a guy‘s ten is just sad when he’s sixteen. The other part? I’m not absolutely, totally positive that Jeff is gay or bi or pan or whatever.

He’s always been cool about my two dads and my Pride stuff, which is more than I’ll say for some of his teammates. He smiled, a little quirk of lips I saw out of the corner of my eye, when I put my “Let me be perfectly QUEER” sticker on my locker. And I think I saw him watching Miles Corbin walk down the hall, although whether it was Miles’s perfect figure-skater ass and red hair, or just his attitude, that made Jeff smile, I’m not sure.

I catch Jeff watching me at times, too. Sometimes he looks pleased, like he sees something good. I’m not much to look at, skinny and still short, between the blockers and how I’m made. My nose is snub and I’d hate it, if it wasn’t a lot like my dad’s and Dad is the best person I know. But still, no one’s looking at me and seeing a work of art. So that expression must mean something? Right?

I revamped my plans, set up another casual encounter resulting in us bumping shoulders. Which meant me getting knocked back against the lockers because my shoulder against his biceps (always plural, even if it’s just one arm) was no contest. He steadied me, like a true gentleman, I turned to him… and I came out of that one having informed him that whales make the loudest sounds underwater at 188 decibels, and the whistle can travel up to 500 miles.

At least I was smart enough not to time that attempt before a quiz.

Over the next two weeks, Jeff learned that sea sponges are more ancient than dinosaurs, that some types of nudibranch are solar-powered animals and use sunlight to produce energy, and that the thresher shark uses its long tail to hunt by slapping small fish, stunning them, and making it the only shark that’s dangerous on both ends. Each science fact fell from my mouth like that princess who spoke toads, and was greeted by a bemused look and “That’s cool.”

Well, they were interesting facts, so not quite toads, but a long way from “Hey, want to go out with me?”

Now, tomorrow, Friday, is the last day of classes before Spring Break. Lots of folks head out somewhere for break and the building empties after the bell like there‘s a radiation leak. So today’s my last chance to quit making a fool of myself.

Jeff must like me, right? He listens to my science facts with a little tilt of his head, and that look in his eyes isn’t disgust or disdain.

Once more, with feeling. Or at least, with not screwing up. Too much feeling is the problem, not the solution.

I do think a few times about asking Nina Waters to be my first date, instead of Jeff. I’m pan, and Nina’s super cute. But she doesn’t make my breath come short and my whole body tingle, like Jeff does. Her light voice is sweet, but his deep rumble curls my toes. So… Jeff.

I wait for him at his locker. No more of these fake encounters that I can brush aside as accidental. Going to his locker makes it clear I mean business, right? No one waits around for a guy, just to inform him that parrotfish produce their own sleeping bag made out of mucus at night to be safe from predators… actually, that’s a fact I probably shouldn’t share, period. I don’t have a grossness reaction in me, but sometimes big dudes will surprise me.

Before I can drag my thoughts back to a plan, there he is, looming over me. Was he always this big? I look up. Way up.

Jeff grins. “There you are, Kev. Hey, wanna go get a shake or coffee or something, before Spring Break hits?”

I think I blink a hundred times. Jeff’s grin fades. “We don’t have to.”

“No! We do!” I grab his sleeve, then let go, because, way not cool. I clear my throat. “I mean, I was going to ask you out. That’s why I came here.”

His smile makes a comeback. “I figured. I was trying to let you do the asking, but I think by now I can pass an AP bio class, and time’s getting short.”

“I’m kind of a nerd,” I admit. “Also nervous.”

“I happen to like nerds.” Then Jeff actually holds out one wide, strong hand to me in invitation. “And you don’t need to be nervous. Come on. Hang out with me and we’ll see what happens.”

I’ve never held hands with anyone, not since I was six. I didn’t think it would appeal to me. I’ve always been kind of fanatic about independence. But once I’ve slung my pack over my shoulder, I reach out in return. Jeff’s fingers closing over mine bring a warmth like stepping into a hot bath. My whole body lights up from just that touch. Fascinating.

I tug lightly on our joined hands, and Jeff follows that pull. He grins, like he likes it. And I grin back. “Hell yeah,” I say. “Experiments, observation, right up my alley.”

Jeff murmurs, “I have a few test protocols in mind,” as we walk toward the door hand in hand.

When we exit into the bright sunshine, I laugh. “Talk science to me, baby.”

He lets go of my hand and for a second I worry that was too much, too stupid, why did I call him baby?

But Jeff slings his heavy arm across my shoulders as we stride toward his truck. “You have a sexy brain. Also mouth. Come on, dude, let’s start with chocolate shakes, and see where it takes us.”

######